Most fiction writers are in a creative mode when writing their first draft. They are inspired and write by instinct, which is a wonderful state of being. Sometimes, however, it means they may not be aware that they are making errors.

A common error that is found in manuscripts written in third person is head-hopping. Unconscious changes in point of view (POV) from one character to another are disorienting and lack cohesion. It is possible to switch POV in third person writing, but if it is done improperly, it is jarring and that is why I call it ‘head-hopping’.

There are three forms of third person narration:

1. Close point of view—multiple characters (nb. no more than 6 for most works)
2. Single character narrator—one character
3. Omniscient narrator—the narrator knows all

The first is what I usually recommend. The second limits you to one character and reads like a journal or log (a bit boring/limited). The third is extremely difficult to pull off, especially if you want to write well and use the show don’t tell style. Show don’t tell is very important in fiction. Many writers using third person narration mostly use (1) close point of view, but possibly without knowing they are doing it. It is evident from many of the first drafts of novels, that I have edited, that the writer did not notice when they head-hopped in the middle of a paragraph or scene.

Here’s the rule—you can only switch POV when:

• it makes sense to do so
• it does not interrupt the flow of action
• it supports your main plot and character development

Switching point of view is an editorial decision, not a layout/typesetter decision, although a good typesetter will question a badly formatted manuscript and ensure you or your editor have paid attention to this.

POV changes should be written and formatted by leaving a blank line and starting the next section of text with no indent. This signifies to the reader a jump in time, space and/or point of view. You then lead off your new section making it clear whose POV the reader is in. This is done by:

1. Using their name in the very first sentence
2. Clever use of language and ways of writing that are unique for each POV character
3. Perspective, supported by strong world-building, plot, setting and character development

Each POV section should be sufficiently large enough to carry the story forward and ease the reader on their journey. It is difficult to make hard and fast rules, and every narrative is different. Here’s an example of a point of view change which is NOT a head-hop because it is done right:

In the Richard Bolitho series of naval adventure novels, author Alexander Kent used a single character narrator in the third person. The main character, Richard Bolitho, provides the lens through which all the action is experienced by the reader. Although it is written in third person, not first, it is exclusively Richard’s senses, emotions, actions and perspective the reader is privy to. Every now and then, however, Kent will switch point of view to a supporting character, who will provide a few sentences that sum up, characterise and hero-worship Bolitho. This is only done 1–3 times in an entire novel so it is not enough to say that the book has the close point of view of multiple characters. It is not a head-hop because it is done carefully and creatively, with the sole purpose of shining a light on a slightly new facet of the main character. The reader remains focused on the main character. It’s a clever bending of the rules.

Patterns may be important with close point of view. I edited a novel, once, that had the following point of view or narration flaws:

• Too many different POV characters (apx. 15)
• Imbalance in the number of words per character (eg. some had apx. 10,000 others had as few as 300 in the entire novel)
• Multiple head-hops within a few paragraphs of each other, for no apparent reason (done unconsciously by the writer)
• Seemingly major characters with lots of POV scenes in the first third of the novel having few POV contributions in the final two thirds
• POV characters with little to contribute to the overall plot
• POV characters with their own segues into irrelevant history and unfulfilled sub-plots

It is very common for fiction writers to make mistakes with point of view and a good editor will work with you to resolve them.

More on Point of View

If the writer tells his or her own story in First Person, that is autobiography. Anyone who knows enough about a specialist subject can write an authoritative book on that subject, and the point of view in such publications is invariably that of the author. There is no danger of its shifting camp and becoming the narrative standpoint of someone else.

Fiction is a different matter. The author tries to create the illusion there is no writer, and the story has an existence sufficient in itself, just as a sculpture stands as an entity apart from the sculptor. Fiction is a product of the imagination and is not necessarily based on fact. Someone has to put the story into words. The author’s voice must not be the one heard loudest of all! In modern fictional literature, the writer needs to remain out of hearing throughout the pages of his story.

This was not always so. Late 19th to early 20th century authors, for example Henry James and Lucy Montgomery, used interpolations such as ‘I hasten to assure you, dear readers’ and ‘do not turn upon me, my reader, and rend me’! The writer, in many cases, was an ever present entity, chipping in quite often with his or her two bob’s worth. One would not expect to encounter an authorial intrusion of that nature in a Janette Turner Hospital or David Malouf novel!

In First Person narration of a fiction, often based on personal experience, the author will enter the mind of a character and tell the story from the point of view of that character, who will then relate the events from a fairly restricted ‘bird’s eye view’. The particular standpoint becomes the literary point of view and the narration must remain within the range of that person’s first-hand knowledge. The First Person narrator can only relate those events in which he participates. (No reporting what goes on in other people’s minds, or behind closed doors!) In order to cover inaccessible ground, the author has to resort to the device of using dialogue to acquaint the storyteller with other (second-hand) information. David Copperfield (Dickens) is a classic example of first person narration.

There is a danger in this type of storytelling that the author will at some stage intrude into the action, delivering some information of his own. This happens so easily and so often in the first drafts of inexperienced writers. The message, not directly attributed to one of the characters, immediately destroys the whole illusion of a fiction. With the intrusion of a non-character in the drama, the carefully built-up point of view falls apart and the reader instantly twigs that the author was there all the time — finally revealing himself by providing some first-hand information that his appointed narrator would never have known about.

Third Person normally places the narrator outside the action, in the role of a disinterested observer. It is the most popular form of storytelling, for the range of observation is limitless; the narrator, unknown, unseen, unidentified, can go backwards or forwards in time, assume the viewpoint of any one of the characters, and most importantly, see into their minds. The narrator is presumed to be all-knowing (omniscient), a kind of literary demigod.

Nicholas Monserrat in The Cruel Sea tells of the final moments of a drowning seaman: … he began to think in French, the language of his mother … Reporting a drowning person’s thoughts in his last moments is the ultimate in omniscience! It would never do in a biography, but it makes powerful, evocative prose in the genre of fiction when the authorial voice is ‘silent’. The reader becomes immersed in the imaginary.

‘Asides’ and observations not attributed to a character would be most intrusive and distracting in this genre. The writer must practice ‘hiding out’. For example: The family came down to Sydney indicates where the author was located when writing the novel. The family went to Sydney or travelled to Sydney distances the author from the storytelling.

Surprisingly, point of view is one of the hazards for beginning writers, one that catches the unwary, and needs to be kept in mind at all times during the writing of a novel, novella or even short fiction. When you are thinking about writing something, consider carefully the point of view. You may decide, like a skilled cameraman, that a different ‘angle’ can serve your purpose better.

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